Outer Banks trip: a flag, a dog, and a ladybug

Emily
Apr 15, 2024
4 min read

first, a reflection

happy Monday, friends! Justen and I just got back from the Outer Banks of North Carolina last night for a weekend getaway trip to celebrate the end of my last semester of grad school. if you're new here, I have been in nurse practitioner school for the past 2 or so years and am about to graduate with my master's to be a women's health NP!

this semester was super duper busy, especially the past month or so as we got closer to our comprehensive exam (aka "comps") that covered content from our entire program and was 50% of our grade. I thankfully did really well on it (study vlog is here!) and am now in this weird in-between period where I'm loosely studying for our licensure exam (aka "boards," what makes us legally a NP) and waiting for graduation to roll around in mid-May.

we went away for the weekend to an area of the state that was new to both of us – Hatteras Island / Frisco – and intended to have a restful, romantic getaway weekend. and don't get me wrong, it was a really sweet time, but I was in a weird mood / headspace for most of it and couldn't figure out why.

let me tell you about it...

do you ever get in random moods and get anxious about being in that mood? I was on my period this trip, so hormones definitely played a part in the fluctuating moods, but I could tell it was something else, too. whenever I have a big wave of sadness, for example, I start to panic that it's going to stay around a long time and will never go away. or if I feel angry or "in a funk" or just out of it in general and I can't figure out why, I feel anxious and try to reason my way through my feelings.

I was struggling with that exact scenario Saturday morning of our trip. we had arrived Friday night, and the image I had in my mind of how this trip was supposed to go was already fractured – the weather was off (chilly and super windy), Hatteras was way more isolated / empty than I expected, and several of the places we wanted to go were closed. these are all simple things that really don't matter in the long run, but I had this vision of what I wanted our weekend to be like, and so far it was a failure.

this is not the first time I've felt these feelings on a trip. I often struggle with what I call "vacation anxiety" or "vacation perfectionism" where I put pressure on myself to soak up every little moment of a trip and squeeze every ounce of fun and joy out of it not in an abundant life kind of way but in a if-I-don't-do-this-it's-all-a-failure kind of way. I'll think about how expensive a trip is, how much time it took to plan, how we probably won't come back to a certain place, etc. and beat myself up if I'm in a bad mood or we aren't enjoying it as much as we hoped.

this was happening by Saturday morning. I was grumpy, cold, and trying to stay in the moment but struggling to not dwell on how "off" I felt.

we had just walked into a local crafts and souvenir shop (The Blue Pelican), and within seconds I looked up and saw these prayer flags (photo above) and felt like they were for me. they were random Tibetan prayer flags, and although I don't espouse every saying up there, they felt like a gentle reminder to watch how I speak to myself.

I paused and read these flags and took a deep breath.

I'm usually some one who cringes at affirmations, but I fully believe speaking Biblical truth of yourself is incredibly powerful, especially for those of us who sometimes struggle with misplacing our identity. it's something I want to start practicing myself.

the second moment where I felt God reaching out to me in the midst of my muck happened seconds after glancing at the prayer flags. this sweet dog came directly up to me and put her head in my lap like she knew I needed comforting. we followed her and her sister (Mabel and Sadie!) around the shop and petted them until we left content and smelling heavily of damp dog.

the third moment I don't have a picture of, but the video clip will be in my Outer Banks vlog tomorrow -- we were driving to grab lunch at the Frisco Sandwich Co. (sooo good, highly recommend!!), and I was processing the day so far with Justen and telling him how I felt like God was telling me to usher in a season of focusing on gentleness towards myself and deal more seriously with my self-image issues.

right in that moment, a ladybug fell down on top of our windshield -- there were no trees or anything nearby that would logically explain the bug falling down -- and flapped around. you may be reading this and think "she's over-spiritualizing," but I'd encourage you to remember that God is a God of the details. I truly believe that if we look for Him, we will find Him, and when we live with an openness to the Holy Spirit, He will reveal Himself in the sweetest of ways.

I took that as a little nod or wink from God to say, "yes, you're on the right path. follow me."

there were so many other little moments like this from the trip, but I wanted to share these three to 1) remind you that what you see online is only ever a sliver of the whole story, 2) trips / vacations don't have to be perfect to be meaningful, and 3) God is in the details if you look hard enough 🐞

trip photo dump

cake celebration